just adding to my list of flaws

selfish

Audition Week

Here we go again
This unsettling feeling worsens with every passing moment
I guess I feed off of others emotions
This is a horrible quality.
Cause all around me I have Frantic. Eavesdropping. Anxious. Upset. Self-conscious people.
Is this the profession I’m entering into? I can’t handle their stress and mine.
Its as if I can’t breathe until the list goes up.
Still, the fact is that I will celebrate with a select few
And then dedicate myself to consoling everyone else.
Tough.
It all shall pass.
Then I can be normal with people again.
Then I can resume relationships.
Then I can smile and actually mean it.
But during this DREADFUL week of auditions and casting
I am the stone wall.

...watch me bruise and bleed for you

i can't wait to get out of this place.
these dungeons restrict me
these hallways are suffocating.
plastic mannequins around every corner
dirt bags lurking in the alleys
everyone trying to prove that they are somebodies
somebodies trying to uphold their reputations
they all blur into a sea of color
And just when I think that I've had enough
I think of you.
and my perspective changes.
everything will end.
its inevitable.
still, my brian screams a lurching, horrible noise
we've compared ourselves to a car crash once before
and here that image resurfaces once more
we're in a car that we know will crash.
leaving us both bloody and wounded
bruised and scarred.
yet the miraculous thing is that we embrace it
making the best of the time we have alotted
so bring on the riot
as long as i can hold you now
the car crash is justified in my eyes